


Two Rocks Walk Into a Bar

by Zelderon



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Drabble, F/F, Fluff, Peridot mentioned, Romance, implied Pearl/Peridot friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:05:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5154743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelderon/pseuds/Zelderon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My submission for the Day 3 topic (Rainbow Quartz/Fusion) for the Pearlrose Week 2015 event happening on Tumblr. Also, whoever gets the reference at the end is the real MVP.</p><p>Rainbow Quartz is fed up with seeing her friend Pearl pine over that girl who always seems to be sitting at the end of the bar whenever they come in. She decides to do something about it tonight. Pearl reacts pretty much exactly as expected.</p><p>Preview:<br/>“Hi, I’m Rose. What’s your name, gorgeous?” she says politely, ignoring the shattered glass and spilled drinks.</p><p>“HI, I’M WHO ARE YOU. ROSE IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU PEARL.” Nailed it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Rocks Walk Into a Bar

“Come on, Pearl. You’ve been eye banging that girl over there for the past half hour.You should just get up and go talk to her,” my “friend” Rainbow Quartz says, poking me in my stomach, “I know you only come here with me so you can stalk her.”

“Shut up, Rainbow,” I say, rolling my eyes, but unfortunately Rainbow Quartz notices I didn’t try to correct her. And unfortunately, she decided to press her advantage and go in for killing blow.

“Well, if you’re not going to go talk to her, I might just go buy her a drink. Maybe, ask her back to my place,” Rainbow Quartz gives me an obscenely lewd wink before downing her shot glass and placing it next to its empty compatriots already keeping watch on the bar. She signals the bartender to bring her another two Redbull vodkas.

“Fine, go over there. I don’t care.” I hope I only imagined my voice cracking as I said the last word. I looked into my glass of white wine and noticed erratic ripples kissing the walls. I quickly set the glass down with a too loud “clink” that made a small amount spill over the rim. And because today was just going so incredibly fantastically, Rainbow’s smile grew even wider.

“Well, that’s good because I’m going over there now. Wish me luck,” she says with another wink (I wonder if Rainbow Quartz realizes how indecently sexual her winks are) and stands up as the bartender brings over the drinks she ordered.

“NO,” I yell, a bit too loudly given the odd looks the other patrons are giving us, including, oh god, her. I could feel my body shaking, breaths coming out in shuddering bursts, and when did I stand up? I can almost feel the wood of the bar groaning under the grip of my hands.

“Woah, chill out, Pearl. I’m not going to try to steal your girl.” Before I can protest that the paragon of perfection sitting at the other end of the bar is not “my girl,” she shoves both drinks into my hands and says, “but I would hate to see these drinks go to waste,” and uncouthly shoves me towards her.

I stumble and almost fall, but years of gymnastics and ballet training take over and I’m able to right myself before making a complete fool of myself. I even save most of the drinks Rainbow handed me, even if a considerable amount spilled onto my hands and wrists. Ugh, I wish I had another pair of arms so I could wipe off the clinging, over-saccharine alcohol with my handkerchief. Why does Rainbow Quartz always order such sugary drinks?

I completely stabilize my gait by the time I reach the woman with pink hair and a white dress. Anyone else wearing a white ball gown to a bar would look ridiculous, but she looked simply radiant. She has this smile on her face that make me want to just smile and makes my chest hurt but in a good way. She tries to hide a laugh by taking a sip of her drink, but notes of it reach my ears and overwhelm all of my senses. Right now, there is no bar. No bartender. No Rainbow Quartz. No troubles. Just me and her. I came to the realization that I would do anything to hear that laugh tickle my ears again.

I place the glasses in front of her, perhaps with a tad bit too much vigor. One of the glasses cracks and shatters to pieces while the other skids across the table and before stopping right at the edge closest to the bartender. I breathe out a sigh of relief right as the universe decides to give me the middle finger and push the glass over the edge. I wince as I hear it shatter on the floor.

The bartender inhales in preparation to lambaste me, but Rainbow Quartz calls her over to order another drink. As the bartender hurries to prepare what looks like a particularly complicated cocktail, she give me her third wink of the night. Somehow it’s actually comforting and encouraging this time.

I try to say something but for some reason I forget how to speak. In order to break the awkward tension that I’m sure I would have noticed if I could remember how to do anything besides smile nervously like an idiot, Rose introduces herself.

“Hi, I’m Rose. What’s your name, gorgeous?” she says politely, ignoring the shattered glass and spilled drinks.

“HI, I’M WHO ARE YOU. ROSE IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU PEARL.” Nailed it.

Rose chuckles again and I sit down to avoid having my legs give out from under me. I sit with enough force to make the chair tip precipitously backward. Before I fall, Rose catches me with an arm, pulling me and my chair in close to her before I settle backward and remember how to sit in chairs.

Rose’s back is to Rainbow, and I can see her give me a thumbs up and makes a drinking gestures in the air with her hands and points at Rose, then me.

“OH,” I exclaim in realization,”HEY, ROSE. WOULD DRINK YOU LIKE?” Rainbow slaps her face for some reason.

I wonder why all patrons are glaring at us. I guess they’re probably just jealous that I’m talking to Rose and they aren’t.

“I’d like some Sex on the Beach,” Rose replies with an unfaltering smile.

“Uhhhh…,” I sputter as all my neurons short circuit at once. Well, short circuit might not be the right word because some very engaging images are currently spreading and colonizing every vestige of my mind.

“I’d like to have a glass of Sex on the Beach ” Rose smoothly adds, acting like I just hadn’t heard what she said the first time.

“Oh, uh, right.” I turn to the bartender and order two drinks. “So, are you also a student here?” Alright, back on track.

“Yep, I’m a cultural anthropology and botany double major. What about you?” she asks before taking a sip of her drink.

“I’m an aerospace engineering major and I’m probably going to minor in history. Wow, you’re majors are really different. What do you want to after graduation?”

“I’m actually also premed. I don’t usually tell other people because then they get all sorts of preconceived notions about me, you know what I mean?” Rose said sheepishly (wow, she’s so cute when she’s embarrassed). I felt a stir of anger towards anyone who would dare think poorly of Rose.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t tell anyone in the robotics club that I’m in the school ballet club because I don’t want them to think I’m girly. I’d never hear the end of it from Peridot if she found out,” I shuddered at that thought.

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with being girly.” Rose playfully shoves my shoulder lightly. The spot she touches tenses reflexively and I try to make an effort to school my face so it doesn’t betray my shock and elation. “I knew I recognized you from somewhere. I’ve seen you dance before. Your performance as Kitri in Don Quixote last semester was amazing. I’d love to get to see you dance again.”

“Oh that, it was nothing,” I say, trying to act nonchalant even though internally I remember clearly the first time I ever saw Rose’s perfect, kind face. She seemed far more enraptured with the performance than anyone else. It was like having an audience of one. I also remember almost tripping because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. Afterward, my director chewed me out thoroughly for my lack of focus. After my punishment exercises, I couldn’t feel my legs for days.

“Oh don’t be so modest, Pearl. Hey, it’s getting kind of late. I need to get back to my dorm soon. actually shouldn’t even be here right now. I need to study hardcore this weekend for my physics test on Monday. That class is impossible. I can’t wait to finish all of these lame premed requirements.”

I hear a pointed cough coming from behind Rose. I look behind her and see Rainbow giving me a meaningful look while jabbing her head at Rose. When/how did Rainbow get so close to us?! That cacophonous delinquent sure knows how to be quiet and sneaky when she wants to be. Rose doesn’t seem to notice thankfully. I look at Rainbow in confusion, making her sigh dramatically and roll her eyes. She points at Rose and then pantomimes reading and writing. Ah, I see.

“Hey Rose, I’m not too busy this weekend. I could help you study. I’m pretty good at physics,” I say with all the suave, debonair charm I can muster. Rainbow puts her head in her hands and shakes it make in forth rapidly from side to side. I think I can hear faint sobbing.

“Wow, that sounds great, “ Rose says with a cute giggle and gives me a peck on the cheek. Rainbow Quartz looks up in ecstatic disbelief and performs a little victory dance in her chair, pumping her fists. 

“Let’s meet in the stacks tomorrow. How does 11 sound?" Rose asks.

“Sounds perfect."

**Author's Note:**

> I have a headcanon that Pearl starts talking at an inappropriately loud volume whenever she is nervous around Rose.
> 
> Check out my Tumblr at  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zelderonmorningstar  
> for more Steven Universe, My Little Pony and Adventure Time stuff


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